Tuesday, April 25, 2017

I Choose You

"If you’re in relationship, I invite you to ask yourself this question: “Why am I choosing my partner today?” Bryan Reeves

I was asked the other day (and a few weeks back by two different people) how as passionate people, with extremely different personalities, Matt and I have made it to (almost) year 28 of our marriage, and year 30 of being together without killing each other. My snarky remark would be, "why in the world would I want to re-train someone?" 

My honest answer is, it's not always easy.  

After all, we are complete opposites. He is the yin, I am the yang... I talk a lot, he listens. Our love languages don't always blend well together, I am a communicative and physically demonstrative person; he is a service giving person. We've had to learn through trial and error how to make those two languages blend tightly together. We've learned to let things go, we've learned to go to different corners of the house, to think over our responses before we say something we might regret. We've learned to continue on and push through the difficulties because, we choose everyday. Let me repeat that: we choose every; single; day; to be together. 

You might have noticed my use of the semicolon to stop and pause those words. It's intentional. Sometimes you have to stop, pause, and think about what you want to accomplish, move on with those steps in mind, or stagnate and let a relationship die. This is what happens the majority of the time, when a marriage (or any relationship) gets beyond the honeymoon period and you haven't figured out how to blend your different upbringings together. 

Some people chose to get divorced, others choose to coexist and revolve around each other. The more successful marriages, i think, might coexist for a bit, then plug on through to relearning to love each other. 

In other words, they chose to find qualities they love about their spouse and focus solely on that, until they can over look the things that bother them and rediscover the other things they loved about their spouse from the start. Longevity is about give and take. Sometimes you give and other times you take, but you can NEVER, EVER, be the only one giving, or be selfish enough to only be taking, or you become unresponsive to the other spouses feelings and the connection can severe and die away permanently. 

Ask our children, it wasn't always sunshine and flowers. There were tears, yelling, silent treatments and trying to push the other person to be like ourselves. Trying to get him to think the way I did. Him trying to get me to be as active as he was. When an extremely active, wilderness loving person marries a bookworm, who is content to soak up the rays at the beach, compromise is needed. This makes for growing pains from each person in the relationship. Growth is a good thing. Not always when you don't want to and especially not on someone else timetable. Tears I tell you, lots and lots of tears... 

Moving often didn't help. I would just get settled into my herd of friends; the house decorated the way I liked; the kids doing great in school and after school programs batted up and flowing daintily, and bam! off we'd go to another town in another state. I thrive on socializing with people, I don't thrive on change per se. I would pray a lot that our move was what was best for each of us and like Ruth, "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay," my place was with my husband whom I loved. 

Communication is key. This is what the experts say and I completely agree.

I tend to want to communicate through a problem, "If there's a problem, Yo, I'll solve it." sorry, certain words always shoot off a song in my head...
I'm sure it drives my "think before you speak husband" absolutely batty when I push to get him to face my way of slamming through the problem, from the second I see there is a problem. I,  going to be straight up blunt and honest here, have a personality that doesn't handle criticism well.  I blame being a Gemini and an Extroversion Intuitive (and Sensory: I equal out on that and Intuitive. I think it depends on my mood on the day I've taken the Myer-Briggs test) Feeling Perception. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. This makes communication hard when talking to me. Luckily I married a man, who over the years, has learned how to "handle" me when I need refocusing. I don't like the word correction, it sounds like a parent is disciplining a child. He is not my parent, I am not his child, even if I act like one sometimes. 😉 

Like I said, he is the Yin, I am the Yang, or as Rocky Balboa says,  “I dunno, she's got gaps, I got gaps, together we fill gaps.” Matt fills my gaps. He is steady, strong, sincere, and stalwart. I am mind blazing, full steam ahead, all over the place. I tend to have a hard time focusing on any one thing. He has helped me to learn to focus and complete tasks before starting on something new when it comes to serious ambitions, say like work or school; besides that, I am all about playing and having fun.  I'm a "jack of trades and a master of none". Luckily for me, I tend to pick things up easily. Unluckily, I want to try everything, so I tend to move on to step 1050 when I should really be on step 2: Come on people, The big picture is visualized, let's not have to plan it to death, let's just get It done, before I lose interest!! That is my thinking, why waste time when you know what you want to accomplish. 
As Nike's logo says, "Just do it!". This drive my husband, the planner, nuts. He sees the big picture, but wants to make sure all the steps aren't missed or it might not turn out right. I've always believed if you miss a step whatever comes from what you have done might turn out even more amazing than what you envisioned. Let it grow and breath in the direction it wants to... 

Yup, I run off creativity. He runs off of plans. I'm good with picking a spot on the map and saying let's go there. This is where I might want to rest my head, and then a few hours from where I might want to land is when I make a hotel reservation. He wants it all scheduled hour by hour; nope, doesn't always work for me. He's had to learn to stop and smell the roses on the way, because I won't let him just move from spot A to B without a few sniffs of those gorgeous roses. I mean, how can you learn to appreciate nature, if you are moving from A to B, without using your senses and stopping to enjoy those senses?  

He's taught me how to develop a work ethic. I had never in my life met someone who cleaned, as if they were spring cleaning, every single day. This was a 2 times a year ritual for our family, in his it was a way of life. He taught me how to clean, not the other way around. I am thankful for that. Like I said, he fills my gaps.

As I mentioned above- my friend and the other two people (one of them was my dentist; we also had a discussion on raising kids in-between him cleaning my teeth, that's another post...) who asked me what the magic of our longevity is. That caught me off guard. I really had no clue how to answer. I had to think about it for a minute. 

Here is the answer I gave my dentist: There is no secret formula. I figured it all comes down to choosing. I chose Matt each and every day and he chooses me. We just push along from that choice. My choice comes mostly with a smile, some fun and starring at him, realizing how lucky I am to have met this gorgeous man in the first place. 

Ultimately, the answer is that I choose to fall in love with him, as if it is the first time I saw him working at the electronics counter in Fred Meyer. I will continue to choose him every single day for the rest of my life, because I want to grow old with him. Him sitting next to me on the back deck porch swing looking out over our favorite view, where ever that might be, and me holding a book on my lap and one hand in his... 

Q: If someone doesn't fill your gaps, how can you continue a relationship with them? I am honestly curious about this, anyone have an answer? Let me know in the comments below.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Reading, Reading all over Lincoln. What's new with you?

I thought it might be fun to do the reading that I am doing for Life of a Book Addict in different places all over town and beyond. Sort of like the book sighting in New York that is facebooked and tweeted from the Subway every morning- like @hotdudesreading or @booksonthesubway, however this would be me and only me until I find other's who are doing it also while I am out and about.

Sorry, can't get my book into the shot with Webcam :(
Right now I am sitting in my back yard on the one bit of pavers that consists of seating area of our Fire-Pit. there is no other flat land that you could even say resembles a finished yard. Even this is semi-done in no flattering words. Matt still has to sandblast and water seal it. My brother-in-law Lou helped Matt but together the first layer of our garden wall. It is moving tortoise slow but I can see the potential and I am loving it!!!  Thanks guys!

I am reading The German Girl by Lucas Armando Correa It's a story about a girl named Anne who receives an envelop filled with information on her Great Aunt Hannah whom her deceased father was raised by. The book tells the story of Hannah's journey from Germany during WWII to an asylum meant to be the half way mark to a permament move to America.  I am only in chapter 3 of the story, but I am engrossed in it already. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I intrigued by history, especially WWII Nazi occupied Germany. It is part of my DNA, a large section of my family history, I couldn't ignore it if I wanted to which I don't!  What you don't learn from in the past can be recreated and accepted in the future. I can't allow that, so I learn from the experiences, I empathizes with those who have lived through it and I digest and apply the lessons I have learned into my core values and share those things with others.

What do you think?  Will I see you out and about reading throughout Lincoln too?  How about lunch time? I mean after all, it is GORGEOUS outside!!!  Take my challenge, read a book, snap a pic, add it to the comments of my post. What can it hurt? It could be fun!  Hope to see you out and about reading. Enjoy.

The Marvelous Misadventure of Ingrid Winters by J.S. Drangsholt, Tara F. Chace (Translator)

** spoiler alert ** 
A quick read from Amazon Prime First Read. Good thing I didn't spend more than 13 hours on this book. I feel let down, confused and stressed out honestly. Ingrid was insipid and completely annoying. I found the pop culture references the only decent part of the book. I'm not sure if the translation was what messed it up for me or not. There's neurotic and then theirs just lack of common sense. This was truly Ingrid's problem. I felt as if there was not a truly well built character development of all the people who are part of her world. Maybe that's because she didn't care about anyone else but herself. There is social awkwardness and then there's just selfish and mental. This is what I got from this book. I didn't find the hectic feel of the book relatable nor normal for a mother of three. I mean after all I am a mother of three with a husband with a time consuming job. This felt fake. The only realistic thing to me was loving a house so much you would do anything to get into it even if you know it isn't financial solvent.

Sorry, just my take. I guess I can't love everything I read...

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Sisters One, Two, Three

When Ginger Tangle worries, she worries herself, her family and her friends into avoidance and ultimately pushes away one of her loved ones. (which one? I will never tell, read the book.)
Ginger may or may not have been a worrywart before the accident. No, she definetly might not have been, however ever since she was 13, she had stood up and taken care of all her siblings and this might have fed into the worry she carries throughout her adulthood.

Glory Tangle, her mother, was the complete opposite of Ginger, she worried about nothing. If anything she was an avoider. I relate to Glory, some how she reminds me of a past I don't remember, maybe it's because of my birth mother Trudy, maybe it's from being an avoider myself. I was enthralled with Glory and her fun, fly by the seat of her pants personality until the accident where her ofttimes moodiness of her children's hold on her life showed up in double spades and she decided to go back to work so she didn't have to face her emotions.

Ginger's family consisted of 5 members, her aforementioned mother, her father Solly an offbeat toy seller of toys that no one wanted, sort of like the Island of Misfit toys, somehow just not right. She had two younger sisters- Mimi and Callie and a younger brother, Charlie. When they were all together they created trouble as most kids do when their parents are involved in their own dramas.

As an Adult Ginger is dealing with her troubled marriage, her daughter Julia who pulls away from her and her of course all that Glory involves her in. Her mother is a fist full of dynamite that Ginger avoider communicating with because her mother avoided communicating with her.

That Tangle Mangle of wording is endearing and until the end you don't know it serves a purpose you just think it's a funny family trait.

Sisters One, Two, Three is written in the present tense and the past tense. Most people have a problem bouncing back and forth between memories because  they don't know which tense they are in at the start of a chapter, I felt that Nancy Star did a great job of keeping the era's separated and yet connected in what was going on in the present. I enjoyed the format very much.

The book is a two part story. Part One consists of "Before and After" what is this before and what is it about the after that it goes all into Part One? Well you are going to have to read the story to find out. I refuse to give it away. bwahahaha  Part Two contains "From Now On"  this section is much shorter, the ending of the story so to speak. However it is not this nice tidy little tying up of the story, far from it. You are left breathless up until the last few pages. I like that in a book. Makes for an interesting read the whole way through.

Over all I give this book a 4 in ratings for believability, topic, writing format and character development. A rating of 5 would mean it was my favorite of all time and those come very few and far in between. Although I would read this story again (one of the requirements for my rating of 5. I would have to wait and this would be maybe a two time read not a continuous yearly read, like say, Anne of Green Gables; the Harry Potter series, Grapes of Wrath or The secret Garden.

The twist in the story was surprising to me, I didn't see it coming and that is refreshing as I usually am very intuitive to a climax in the story. Mrs. Star does a great job at not hinting at what the falling action is until the very end. I loved that.

My only problem with the story is that we get this perpetual feeling that something bad has happened when it comes to one of it's characters Carter Diggins, or as the children called him Mr. Diggins. This truly never gets fleshed out. As if as a child you have this feeling of people you don't like, but don't really know why and never find out, it's frustrating and not worth worrying about... Why were we given that feeling in the first place? My one and only confused source of wonderment. :)

Over all this was a great story and I am excited to speak to Mrs. Star tomorrow at the Author Discussion about this book.

Bullhead City, Arizona Day 1

Bullhead City, past home to my dear friend Leah whom I met in Ocala, but seemed like I had known her for decades. I was so excited to see her kids and give a hug to my once former Bishop Joe. We had a ton of fun with each other and they showed me around different historic sights close to Bullhead City.

Across the Colorado River from Bullhead City, Arizona sits it's border neighbor Laughlin, Nevada. These are a few photos that I took from the side of the road. I loved the old Colorado Belle Casino that was built in 1979. I love the theme of this casino, sitting on the side of river, why wouldn't you make it look like a steamboat?  I find the idea brilliant.

Below are a few other hotels located on the Laughlin side of the Colorado River

 To me Bullhead City has the feel of an old western without the nostalgia left over from the old buildings. It was originally called Hardyville named after William Harrison Hardy. The only nod to Hardyville is the old historic cemetery and a landmark on HWY 95. I happened to stop at Safeway to grab a drink and ran into the cemetery. I decided to check out the very rustic cemetery. It boggles my mind that the burial mounds are still as if they were buried yesterday and I stepped back into a John Ford movie. :)

sorry it's so blurry. :(

There was a woman who was 16 who died giving birth. A man who was killed by the Indians. Another man was a stagecoach driver and was accidentally shot by one of his passengers. He was supposed to shot a arrival shot for the ferry and the passenger did it instead and the stagecoach driver was shot in the back of the head. When I was standing at the cemetery I decided I wanted to find information on the people buried there. So I looked at "Find A Grave" and there was information about some of the remains. Seriously, doesn't it sound like an old western?


Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Inspiration leads to Adventure... Pt. 1

Route 66,  a road that I have always dreamt about driving down in my convertible, top down, hair scarfed, sunglasses on (think Thelma and Louise) radio blasting a nice mix of 1940's through 1990's inspired music- definitely the song with the same title as the road: Route 66 was the beginning of the play list. My favorite version is sung by Perry Como which has a second, less heard, verse which carries more towns names when following Route 66, all written by Bobby Troupe.

My journey started with a thought. I was driving down the very boring and empty roads of Highway 95 through Northern Nevada. I mean you pass Area 51 when you do this drive. Super interesting Alien titled buildings and a Clown Motel (one day just for the fun of it, I would love to stay there).

I was headed to Las Vegas, Nevada and St. George, Utah to spend Easter and a few extra days with my kids. I was listening to Pandora when I had the light bulb go off in mind, "hey, why can't I go visit my dear friend Leah after I leave Devin and Aliza?  They are super close and right off of Route 66. Then I can follow it home (well, extended way home) It could be a great adventure. I got my camera, I could go all the way to the end..."  So, I called Matt, told him what I was thinking and he knowing me to be a non-adventurous gal, said, "hmmm, you don't usually stretch yourself this way, go for it!"  I find that hilarious as I love Road Trips. Always have, always will. Probably started out from our family weekend drives all over Utah.

Anyway, I found on my Trip Advisor app that there was already a bunch of cool things mapped out from Topock, AZ to Santa Monica Pier, CA.  From there I found a bunch of eclectic sites to visit on the roads that I knew Matt wouldn't want to stop at, places like a Bottle Tree Forest, An original Orange Fruit Stand, The Wigwam Motel (to some a dive. To me, fun!)

For the next few Wednesdays, I thought I would post about the different places that I visited and my growth as a person from my observations throughout the adventure!

Are you ready to join me?  Have you been on Route 66? What were your favorite memories and observations?

Faded but not done

Faded buildings
everyone, life that's ended
can't be undone.

Families that live no more
in their houses,
Seen outdoors, wandering, wandering,
wondering where it all when to.

These lines describes what happens when we close down the factories. I have a friend that I met on the train on my way to Chicago. Let's call her Wendy.  Wendy has been traveling across the country, going to the places that most people don't see, the places where people struggle, try to live as they can on what they have in their homes that no one else would want to own.  Her photos are filled with a home here and a home there where one home is occupied the others are abandoned because the factories these families worked at shut down. Names like Ford, Chevy, Chrysler employed millions and moved away leaving empty buildings like the one below. I saw for myself the ruins and decay of towns that used to thrive by the rail road that no longer do. It was heartbreaking. The spirit of these people keep me in awe of the tenacity and perseverance they continue to move forward and do what they need to for their families.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Behind Closed Doors

Grace and Jack seem to be madly in love with each other. They spend all hours of the day with each other and fit together like a glove. Grace's sister Millie comes to live with them and all heck breaks loose. Is it because of Millie? Read the book and you shall find out...

Warning: never read this when you are mad at your spouse or significant other. Especially if they are male. You may think you see a nasty glint in his eye.

~ I received Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris from St. Martin's Press through my membership with Life of a Book Addict. I don't usually read suspenseful thrillers after living my childhood surrounded by Stephen King books, because I tend to absorb the storyline into my soul and it's hard to exorcist it after I've absorbed it.

However, I decided to give this book a chance just from the description St. Martin's Press sent to me. I am glad I read it. This book was a really quick read if you have a few days or a whole day into the night- which I would not suggest you do, reading from the middle to the end in the evening late into the next morning was something I wish someone else had warned me against doing; It kept me up after finishing it with phantom noises, worries and straight up scared to close my eyes!

B.A. Paris does a wonderful job of keeping you on the edge of your seat. Although, I wish the cover of the book didn't have the blurb "The Perfect Marriage or the Perfect Lie" on it. It gave me the sense of the direction the book was going even before I read the book. I don't like when I know the premise of the book when I haven't even started it yet. That is why I only rated this book 4 stars instead of 5.

If you love a good thriller, this book is for you! Enjoy.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

The Everland Chronicles: Truth

Author A.J Bell has written a fantastic rookie novel. We read about John, a squire to Sir Richard nephew to the King of the Everlands. John is a stalwart and loyal companion to Sir Richard, however John has a secret...

Elle, John's sister, is a fair maiden Prince Victor has set his eyes on who seems to have been dragged into a triangle of love interests that she can't make up her mind about. Prince Victor however has other ideas about her future and will do anything to win her love.

Can Elle live her own life or will John take over and make decisions for her future?  These and other pressing questions will only be answered if you read the book!

Friday, January 6, 2017

Ready, Steady and Goal-ing Through Life


the month that starts every new year for us. Some of us love welcoming the new year, other's dread ending the month of December, which is usually filled with love, peace on earth, special one-time-a-year nostalgic music, and cozy fires crackling next to some form of holiday decor for Christmas. Some of us don't want to give that feeling up so we try to ignore that number 31 coming speeding towards us off the page.

Never the less, January always comes. Each year millions of people set out to plan their lives, to change. They do this through goals, making vision boards, their Bullet Journals (BuJo), yearly planners, even just plain old college lined paper inked with pen, or in my case all of the above and even this computer I happen to be typing on.

What makes one set goals?  Is it the realization that something didn't go the way we wanted the previous year?  Is it the need to grow and extend ourselves farther than we have already? The fact that we see what is happening in the world around us and don't like what we see? Or is it the even more tangle understanding, after a loved one dies, that life is short and what have we done with it so far???  

I didn't start making yearly New Year goals until after I married Matt, we had our two boys and Mckenna was being carried nice and warm inside the womb. I think maybe Matt had been doing them all along, but I hadn't. 
My procrastinating, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants, spontaneous personality had me doing these things without a set plan in mind. Which meant my goals were done creatively. Don't get me wrong, I wrote things down: I was a Post-it Note type of gal, with eye-rolling patience of my quirkiness from Matt. Ask anyone who came to our apartment at Tallavilla in Tallahassee, they were all over the back hallway closet door and walls reminding me of Devin's school activities; Games I wanted to teach the boys; Kyler's preschool lesson prep; places I wanted to visit; book titles someone mentioned that I wanted to read; doctors appointments for monitoring Mckenna's growth and pregnancy progress; things I wanted to accomplish for the week, month and/or year. Go ahead, I gave you permission: ask my Tallavilla friends, you can find them on Facebook. They are super amazing people. I wasn't a planner girl yet, not sure completely that I really am today.... I digress, this was about goals, right????

My way of celebrating the new year was to pick out a song that I felt would guide me to better myself. My song for the year is a throw back to my childhood: Chariot's of Fire's theme song. Can't you hear it, speeding you down the path of life, egging you on to the next achievement and the next one after that?  I sure can. A carefully chosen word, this year it's FEARLESS. I happen to be a skittish dog when it comes to taking on new challenges, especially when it deals with heights or stressing my body out, to help cheer me on throughout the year and a forecast as to how many books I would read in that same year, 50 -consisting of all genre's except romance- yuck. I would do this for a new school year in High School too. I didn't think life needed to be so complicated, so I kept it simple.
When you have kids, that changes. Kids complicate your life if you allow yourself and them to challenge themselves through after school activities, friendships through play dates, church events; without even throwing in the school stuff: homework, studying for tests, choir performances, art showcases, history competitions, and/or band concerts. This is when I learned to plan and set goals formally. I didn't want to miss appointments I consistently forgot about when they were tiny; I didn't want my kids to outgrow me: I didn't want them to think I didn't have a clue what was going on in the world and just stay in my dreamy book reading existence socializing to my hearts delight with written characters or even the characters of our own town.

I needed to grow as they were. It's in my DNA to want to learn, it's handed down to me from Grandmother, to my Father and Mother and self preservation. I feel happier when I am learning. Goals tend to be focused more on that then anything else in my life. The learning goals deal with spiritual growth, book reading and taking free online courses from colleges that provide such things. Apple has a great app that helps you find those kinds of classes. I think I am wearing it out. I think that is what happened to my iPad 2. I just educated myself way too much and it got plain old stinking tired. Righhhttt...

Each New Years Eve our kids, their spouse, right now it's just beautiful Aliza, which is fabulouso !, and even a boyfriend/girlfriend participates in our annual ritual of writing goals, places we want to visit and predictions for each family member's life changes. This year Mckenna did it while we were on the phone with her and her boyfriend Ryan. We even had him do the ritual too. It's fun to open up the previous year's paper (marked with a Do Not Open until December 31st and whatever year it is) and see what we all predicted about each other and if we accomplished our set goals. This past year, I didn't read as much as I would've liked. I didn't lose the weight I set for myself, well lets be honest, I did lose some of it and then gained it all back and then some. Grrrrr.... stupid, Ediiot... Yes, I say negative things super drawn out for impact. It's a fault. Deal with it if you like, or not, I really don't care. It makes me happy. 😎

Anyhoo- today I started a plan to get myself healthy again. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired AND overweight. I made a phone call a month ago to a sweet couple who coach others on the Take Shape for Life program. We are going to get to know each other really well after all this is over. I went to the doctor yesterday to make sure I was doing what I needed to do with my autoimmunity situation. I wanted to make sure I was ready, steady and GOaling on The Turtle versus the Hare race of change- focusing on my plans. "Be a turtle" I said, don't get sucked into the Hare's thinking. Slow and steady is the key. 

My bloodwork will be completed in a few weeks. My "tired blood" as my grandma Field called it, is being made strong by the miracle of medicine and nature's hand: iron tablets and delicious lean steaks. 

Life is going to be Golden, like my glowing skin hydrating with the appropriate amount of drinking water for my body. I mean after all- I don't have the luxury of that oft complained about by others, yet not by me, humidity that I used to have in Florida. We can't have our Sierra Nevada mountains to hike in AND humidity at the same time or EVERYONE would want to live in California.  
Seriously, I love you all and like to host fun-blasted parties for my family and friends, but, it would get super crowded, polluted and the traffic would cause me to have road rage. Besides, I happen to like the small town feel and openness of Lincoln with the beautiful blue sky sprinkled with white animal-shaped clouds hovering over me; so thanks, but no thanks, stay where you reside please...

Over the next few weeks and months the goals our family put together on New Years in our various homes, will be complicated by birthdays, holidays and community related events but I can do this, I just need to remember my mantra: "Slow and Steady is the way"... will you remind me when you see me reach for that cleverly disguised by-the-prettiest-pink frosting you ever saw sitting on a donut which is a bane to my plans?  

Will you cheer me on when I am slowly approaching the finish line on my second Mudrun For Life? (okay, truthfully, it will be more like walking over the shoe sinking & sucking them into squishy mud-filled trails and sliding on my butt down the walls and hills all the while getting down right filthy like a pig in his pen and smiling that huge smile only accomplishment can produce...  You know, legally I have to call it a Mudrun when it's title is Mudrun For Life but you get the drift

My sugar levels might be off, I might not be my super sun-shiney self. Do you notice the word hiney in sun-shiney? Yea, me too. Funny word hiney; my brothers used to laugh when they heard it. Did you know there was a song called Shiney Hiney by the Fleshtones?  Yup, I didn't either until a few minutes ago. So forgive me if I act like a butthead. It's temporary. I will resume my originally aired happiness programing after a few cranky sugarfree ad days.

What, if anything, do you have set as a goal for 2017? I really want to know. Come one, tell me. I promise not to tell anyone else if you don't want me to...

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

December 7th: " A Date that will live in Infamy"

In honor of December 7th (tomorrow).
As you know I have loved reading for as long as my memory can recall; what you might not know is I equally love history. I learned about James Doolittle when I was a teenager from all the reading I did about WWII. I was super interested in what was a huge life event of my grandparents and parents early lives. My grandmother Field had suggested that I read Mein Kampf to see how ideas form in the mind of evil men. I think that I might have been the only Jr. High student that willing wrote a history paper on it ever at my school. When I met Matt and learned he loved History as much as I did, I knew it was meant to be. He helped me learn even more about the great warriors and leaders of our nation’s past especially Patton. I introduced him to the not so great people of our past, (yes, we are ying and yang). I truly believe to know how your country moves forward you need to learn from the past so you don’t create the same problems that already happened and have that vicious circle, or groundhog day, re-occur again and again and again.
A little history, personally connected to me that might just put our national worries into perspective. My father was born November 1938, the year that Adolf Hitler was named Man of the Year by Time Magazine. Yup- Man of the Year, go figure…
My father was born the third day of Krystallnacht which was happening in my grandmother’s home country, can you imagine the worries she carried with her? She listened on the radio or read it in the paper, i’m not sure which, of the destruction of homes, businesses and terrorizing of a religion/race. My grandfather Field was Jewish, after their little boy was born they decided to change their last name to Field, instead of their last name Berkman, because of the persecution happening to the Jewish people, they were worried about persecution in the states too.
The first week of my father’s life, Italy also joined in the persecution with their own version of the Nuremberg Laws, which banned marriages between Germans and the Jewish; denied citizenship to all Jewish people, they became “subjects”; fined jews substantially upon leaving the country, if they were lucky enough to find somewhere else to go, and ultimately denied business dealings with any Jewish people although they had already lost their jobs if they were medical or city/state employees anyway.
That same week in the US a clergy man uttered the first anti-semitic words publicly remembered being uttered on the radio. This is what our nation’s citizens and the visa’d German’s (who were given the chance to become US citizens) were going through while Germany was taking actions against their own people.

Four years later 1942, our nation came under attack, when the Doolittle Raider's flew their mission my dad was three. Again, imagine the concerns his parents and their friends had about raising their kids in the world they were living in. They had no idea how long this war would last, they had no idea if anyone would come to the mainland and attack their homes too. They did what had to be done, they rationed, they worked, they lived, loved, had kids and raised their children to love their nation. Because of the war they also had to be part of  the village that helped other children if their fathers ended up as a casualty of war. They looked out for each other, My dad always tells me that you always knew the other mothers were watching, you didn't mouth off to them, you respected your elders, this was the way children were raised. Only some of us can imagine sending our loved ones off to war; never knowing if they would come home alive or in one piece, this was what they lived with, those single stars in their windows, the strong work ethics learned from building munitions, running ration lines and whatever other job they held. Women became wager earners and caretakers. They did it all. Not one of those women couldn't understand what it was like to work like a man, or raise children by themselves, they became their own person. They were the original woman's lib, no matter what feminists might say. They became independent. I am in awe of those women.

If you don’t know anything about those years, or don’t remember what you learned in high school or college, or never learned about it at all, maybe you should start by spending this week, and tomorrow especially, learning about what spurred on what ended up reaching our own nation’s soil and why we continue our remembrance of December 7th.  
Hopefully this changes our perspective of what we are actually going through as a nation with all the fear and supposition of what Pres. Elect Trump is going to do. We are not living in the 1940’s, our world as a whole is not taken over by the lust and desire of four evil leaders wanting to control the world. We need to remember the unity of those days for the greater good, and remember the freedom that we do actually have. We are acting like our lives are worse than our grandparents, not once has anyone talked about exterminating a whole population or anything close to it! Let’s get real folks, we are not living the extremism that is being relayed by the media or celebrities want you to believe.
Their young men, 18 years, and a few years older, stormed the coast of Normandy to protect our freedoms. I know young men and women, friends of my adult children, who willingly joined the armed services committed to protecting our freedoms, what are the rest of the youth doing? I hope, beyond hope, that they are looking forward and not refusing to become adults, and do their dangedest to help unify and build our country up and not really what the media showed us a few weeks back- needing safe spaces to cry when not getting their way or destroying by rioting. They are after all the future, the ones who will run this country. Will they do what needs to be done to protect it’s freedom’s like the Doolittle Raid young men did? I sure hope so. 

I Choose You

"If you’re in relationship, I invite you to ask yourself this question: “Why am I choosing my partner today?” Bryan Reeves ...